I start every single morning with a breakfast of iron. I eat nails and shit razors. Then I go to my computer and delete every single piece of fanmail I have recieved within the night without even bothering to read them. The amount of daily fanmail is measured in googolplexes. That is because I am a high-profile rock star and people would kill to be allowed the grace of sucking my tits. About 90% of the European population have my name tattooed somewhere on their skin. I have my own private jet and I use 100 euro bills as my toilet paper. Once I smoked a blunt wrapped in the original copy of Shakespeare's MacBeth.
In my spare time I am the justice given form. I put on a skin-tight koala bear costume and become koala-Girl, the animal crusader. I don't have many superpowers, but I have the Koalamobile - 2006 Accord- and a young female sidekick who likes to dress in leather and calls me "sweetheart"
I have many talents. I possess a superior analytic intelligence and my knowledge about everything and all is beyond anything ever known to mankind before me. In fact I know the meaning of life.
I have to be completely honest with you; I have enormous balls. My balls have their own gravitational field. 9/11 wasn't actually a terrorist attack; It was me teabagging the WTC towers.
My father is Thor, the God of Thunder, and my mother is the Hive Queen from Aliens. Because you want to know more about me you can read my biography. It's called "Beowulf".